Choosen

Yesterday Howard, I and a couple other people have regular Tuesday Prayer Meetings. They are refreshing, revitalizing and so needed here at Ekamai. We have forgotten God corporately and individually. There is much corruption here both subtle and obvious. It makes me sad but even so with the touch of God things are beginning to change. During our prayer time we focused on 4 and 5th graders, God as a Creator, the Jr.s Film Festival and the Chaplains and Office Staff.

They, our other warriors, anointed Howard and I. It was good to be affirmed, dedicated, brought into the arms of God. I really struggle here with believing God's calling. Me. He's choosen me to be a Chaplain - a proclaimer of the God News. I don't feel worthy, I don't feel I have the credibility, I have no background in counseling, in theological understanding. But I've been called and lead by the Holy Spirit - this is my greatest credibility! I also desire to connect with these kids on a more spiritual level. I don't know how so it is my hope that God will open doors... I will recognize them and walk through.

Thailand and change. ... I have to think about that for a moment. ... I realize I have some firm convictions, I believe in standing up for them, I desire to speak out against wrong. Sometimes there is a time to speak and sometimies there is a time for silence. Many times I worry over what is the truth. You see my mentors and friends share with me 'the truth' from their eyes. That is - gossip about one another, how the school is ran, etc. It is easy... all to easy for me to take their word as truth. And because I look up to them their bias is not bias in my eyes but truth. I have had to (and still am) learning how to step back and attempt to look objectively at what is said here. Do I believe this because others have said so Or because it is the truth? Secondly, is this just gossip, slander, rumors... have I or am a willing to take time to confront and find the truth before I make assumptions. This one of my inner problems that isn't obvious... or maybe it is.

I also firmly believe that there is a strongly rooted spiritual battle here for everyone's lives. Most of our kids are buddhist (~99%) with the minority being Sikhs, Muslim, Hindu, Chrisitan, and other. So although we are an Adventist school it isn't always present. I think, I know that we tend to soften Christianity so as not to offend parents. I don't know....I love the people. They are the reason why I am here. Yet sometimes they are so hardcore in their ways... Hmmm I am guessing the opposite is true too! I am hardcore in my ways. They challenge me to consider why I believe what I do. Is it because it is the only way I know - often times this is the case. It is because I believe there is a moral basis in that way?

...This place - Thailand - is called the land of smiles and Bangkok - the city of Angels. But like every place not all fit into the mold that is labelled. I find that the smilers are the refugees, the orphans, the widows... in these times I cannot connect with the people with verbal understanding - that is talk to them. There are so many languages Karen, Thai, English (although you can get by speaking English in Bangkok)... but smiles... they are truly cross-cultural.