What Is Up

A lot is happening right now. School years' are coming to a close while others are just beginning. I am transitioning, I think, from one job to another. This summer I am going to continue working in Thailand but at another school. It is much different then Ekamai International School. It is a combination of language school, orphanage, village clinic, worship/church area, home. I find that I have a number of feelings arising - anxiety, excitment, discouragment and happiness, to name a few.

About August, the middle or end, I'm thinking of coming home and returning to College to finish up my education. This to scares me... trying to get back into the routine and discipline of learning academically. I think about that and also friendships, job oppertunities, getting back into the American culture.

I am afraid that it'll be all to easy to revert back to life as before. Taking things more for granted. And I am afraid that I'll never return to Thailand. I love it here... I really do. Sometime I am hurt, misunderstood and critized for my love. I want to give it up. Yesterday I was reading a book about a man whose church was struggling over whether to let him continue his ministry in their church (he was the pastor). And although it was fictitious I loved his response. He said something along the lines that... he felt God called him for this work. If God wanted him to leave then that would happen. He also mentioned that God's way isn't easy, burdenless.. It isn't predictable and comfortable. It may mean suffering and persucution but it is His way nonetheless and worthy to be trod... because it is God's way. I don't know what will happen. In someways I hardly know what has begun. I sound to philosophical so before it hurts I'll close my letter. Thank you for listening and reading. I hope you are doing well.