Returning Soon

Goodness. It is almost time to return 'home' and I am totally frightened. I have been going through the same emotions as I did when before I even left the States. Scared of what changes will happen, what or where will I go, how will I be able to afford dollars again, will I be able to adapt back to American culture. What if's bombarding me from every side. Yesterday I was in tears many times. Frustrated over not being able to stop and keep feeling that way.

For about the last two months I have been working at the Bamboo School. Some of my awesome responsibilities include being an English teacher, water carrier, clinical nurse, a companion and big sister. It isn't all easy but it can also be an incredible blast. One of the greatest struggles I have had is accepting the role of men vs. women in this culture. Unlike my home it is quite man domineering. I don't mean to be rude but sometimes I want to do it myself or let the lady try... this honey has been raised in a home lacking male hormones so doesn't always know how to react when they (hormones) are present.

We've had a pretty major problem with students making babies and had evidence that proved our suspisions as correct. A 'nicely' used condom in the trash... now unless you are married sex at Bamboo School is not an option. So we, the teachers had to consider the options for the students for the consequences of their actions. We now I have to lock the girl's dorm for the protection of the girls from themselves. It might seem cruel but it is actually better than kicking them out. This chasing around in the night and my extreme paranoia has caused me to lose some weight and become quite exhausted but it isn't that bad. The thing that gets me is with all this happening it is difficult to find reason to trust students and yet i long to do so. If nothing else it is a great form of contraceptative for me as I'm convinced that I'm not making babies out of wedlock anytime soon.

For building projects we are continuing to build a hong naam (toliet) behind the school for the students to use in the evenings. So we don't have to worry about students wandering off into the dark and also we don't have to use the stinky one at the church. It was fun yesterday carrying dirt with the students and see progress in our work. It is nice seeing results and change so quickly.

Well so much for writing lately but I don't have access or time like I use to so nevermind! It's been a great adventure and I know that it has just begun. Hurrah!