Choosen

Yesterday Howard, I and a couple other people have regular Tuesday Prayer Meetings. They are refreshing, revitalizing and so needed here at Ekamai. We have forgotten God corporately and individually. There is much corruption here both subtle and obvious. It makes me sad but even so with the touch of God things are beginning to change. During our prayer time we focused on 4 and 5th graders, God as a Creator, the Jr.s Film Festival and the Chaplains and Office Staff.

They, our other warriors, anointed Howard and I. It was good to be affirmed, dedicated, brought into the arms of God. I really struggle here with believing God's calling. Me. He's choosen me to be a Chaplain - a proclaimer of the God News. I don't feel worthy, I don't feel I have the credibility, I have no background in counseling, in theological understanding. But I've been called and lead by the Holy Spirit - this is my greatest credibility! I also desire to connect with these kids on a more spiritual level. I don't know how so it is my hope that God will open doors... I will recognize them and walk through.

Thailand and change. ... I have to think about that for a moment. ... I realize I have some firm convictions, I believe in standing up for them, I desire to speak out against wrong. Sometimes there is a time to speak and sometimies there is a time for silence. Many times I worry over what is the truth. You see my mentors and friends share with me 'the truth' from their eyes. That is - gossip about one another, how the school is ran, etc. It is easy... all to easy for me to take their word as truth. And because I look up to them their bias is not bias in my eyes but truth. I have had to (and still am) learning how to step back and attempt to look objectively at what is said here. Do I believe this because others have said so Or because it is the truth? Secondly, is this just gossip, slander, rumors... have I or am a willing to take time to confront and find the truth before I make assumptions. This one of my inner problems that isn't obvious... or maybe it is.

I also firmly believe that there is a strongly rooted spiritual battle here for everyone's lives. Most of our kids are buddhist (~99%) with the minority being Sikhs, Muslim, Hindu, Chrisitan, and other. So although we are an Adventist school it isn't always present. I think, I know that we tend to soften Christianity so as not to offend parents. I don't know....I love the people. They are the reason why I am here. Yet sometimes they are so hardcore in their ways... Hmmm I am guessing the opposite is true too! I am hardcore in my ways. They challenge me to consider why I believe what I do. Is it because it is the only way I know - often times this is the case. It is because I believe there is a moral basis in that way?

...This place - Thailand - is called the land of smiles and Bangkok - the city of Angels. But like every place not all fit into the mold that is labelled. I find that the smilers are the refugees, the orphans, the widows... in these times I cannot connect with the people with verbal understanding - that is talk to them. There are so many languages Karen, Thai, English (although you can get by speaking English in Bangkok)... but smiles... they are truly cross-cultural.

Dear Precious Family,

This weekend was truly refreshing. I went to Bongti to my 'home' at the Bamboo School. Most of the children (Karen hilltribe) are gone this weekend because it is a holiday and was their school break. They are either at their parents, working or out at a youth camp in Bangkok. Yet with the kids left I am still reminded of my love for these children.

On Sabbath I went with Momo (the lady in charge) to the hospital in Sai Yok and visited some of her children. Lay-wa-too and Dang - it was suspected that they might have Bird Flu but instead they have been diagnosed as having Dungue Fever. I sat on the edge of the boys' beds and tickled them, played silly imaginary games and sang to them some special God songs. Momo told me that when I sang the whole ward listened and even the Doctor postponed his rounds so all the patients could focus. It was, I think, healing for us all. It was amazing to see the boys' countenance change. They were either restless, tense, in pain but as I sang I saw them relax and almost cry.

It is my home. Here in Bonti Baan Farang Rongre-in I have ~71 brothers and sisters. I love to play with them, worship with them, bath in the lake with them. So most of the time I stayed while my other friends who came for a visit toured around. It would have been fun but I wasn't there for that. Momo said it was my home and so at home I rest. I think it is ironic but it makes me smile that I leave school in Bangkok to go to another school elsewhere - I can't have enough of children. I love them. It is also a blessing here because I get hugs, kisses, tickles - touch. I can't do this at Ekamai. I am reminded that I am clean, wanted.

Teacher or auntie or just plain Renee has a song here now. I have begun to teach the kids the song, "Here I am to Worship". It has now been dubbed as "Renee's Song". So not only is it my home I am recognized as a part of my home by my brothers and sisters. I like that. Sometimes I worry about my home in America. The changes that are happening. I miss mom and Nina. I worry about Nina. Momo helped me remember and challenged me to write you a letter Nina and Isaiah. So it'll happen hopefully sometime in the near future and come to you.

Jesus all in all continues to bless me. I don't always know it or know how to thank Him. I think He is madly in love with me and can't wait to have me love Him in the same way. I am learning what it means... sometimes I pull a Gomer - like Hosea's wife I run back to the familiar, what appears 'normal' and 'safe'. When all a long God desires to protect and nuture me.I love is persistent love. I need it. I love each of you.

No Bullying Versus No Bowling

I apparently struggle in my speech between enunciating bull-ee-ing versus bowl-ing. Last week the Guidance Department gave a Chapel that focused on preventing/ending bulllying in Ekamai. As a result I get to do some follow up! Sweet! I go in the students' classes for class worship and bring two guests - Sarah Lamb and Mr. Fred Monster. It gets exciting from here.

You see Sarah and Mr. Fred are puppets. Sarah is a sheep and Mr. Fred is a yellow hairy seahorse. I share with the kids some of my own experiences with being bullied and then try to apply it to them. Two scenarios: 1. If they were being bullied and 2. If they witness and join in bullying another kid. It has been a lot of fun sharing this with the kids. I struggle on placing a spiritual emphasis on the subject of not bullying one another.

Homesick for the familiar

Today's the 2nd of October and I am chilling with my friend Michael in my office. He is working on making a powerpoint presentation for his sermon next Friday night for vespers. He is reading my typing so I will write wonderful things about him only! :0)

Michael is like my little brother. It makes up for never having a little brother before. I have 'tons' of little brothers and sisters here in Thailand or in the larger picture anywhere I go!

Lately I've been slightly homesick because my college has begun classes again and so I like to reminice and look at who is now there and what they look like. It is not good for me to do cause it makes me miss them terribly and wonder why can't I be there too. But them I must realize that I have so many awesome oppertunities here, daily, that they will never experience for themselves.

I'm going to go I'm hungry.